And I'd Give It All Back Just To Do It Again
by GiantFriskySeal
Summary: Dave Strider has always grown up with unusual obsessions of interests that are not his own. His mind starts to piece everything together slowly as years pass. It's takes nearly sixteen years of raising Bro and a game before Dave realizes what's missing.
1. Last Week I Had The Strangest Dream

**Chapter One:** _And Everything Is Going To The Beat_

Your name is Dave Strider and you've recently turned ten. Your interests invlolve many things such as being an amateur rapper, starting a wonderfully terrible comic, and becoming obssessed with really awful movies you can't seem to muster up the ability to enjoy, even ironicly. You aren't entirely sure why you watch all these horrendous action movies so much. It's not for any real entertainment, but you somehow feel bound to watch them. They're important, somehow. It doesn't really help that you have a strange urge to want to own every Nic Cage movie in existence and watch them until they become apart of you. You tend to resist these urges, though, and have yet to watch any movie containing this particular actor. Instead, you plop down and start playing some ill beats while you practice rapping. Someday you'll be the fucking best. For a while, you just focus on that and ignore the strange urges of interests that aren't yours. It's nice, to pretend. That way you can finally feel normal.

You are Dave Strider and you're now thirteen. You failed to resist the urge of watching Nicholas Cage movies and now have a collection going. It's strange, though. You have no willing desire to ever want to watch or even to admit to owning these movies. Something about them just seems so damn important. Even so, it's not just movies anymore. You find yourself intrigued in big, white fluffy dogs, pumpkins, and even knitting needles. If you have to guess, you'd say it has to do with this odd feeling invested in odd objects seems to grow every year. You can't really describe such a feeling. It's like having this dream, a dream so great and realistic that you may or may not prefer it to reality sometimes. When you sleep, the dream and all the memories fall perfectly into place, but upon awakening everything vanishes. Yet you dream the same dream over and over every night. Sometimes you can remember little tidbits, but they never add up to mean anything. You get some weird sensation when you wake up that something huge is missing from your life. It makes your heart heavy and weary like there's just something so tragic about not having _whatever _in your life anymore. On those mornings, it takes you a while to get out of bed and get on with your life. It's like that simply because you lie there trying to remember anything, anything at all, and nothing comes and it leaves you with the worst feeling of all: failure.

Sometimes you wonder if this feeling will ever go away. This feeling of being incomplete. You have your shell of you, of Dave Strider coating the top but inside is hollow and empty. Inside of you there is a void you realize you've been trying to feel with things. You've tried throwing all those movies away, or the random knitting needles you've been buying in bunches lately. You got so wound up over these feelings and obsessions you can't control, these things that aren't you in any way that the pumpkin in your room almost met it's fate on the sidewalk beside your appartment builiding yesterday. You saved it, though. You saved it just like you did the movies and the knitting supplies. After it was pulled safely inside from hanging in your hands out the window, you cuddled it to you and cried like you almost killed an old friend.

Sometimes you're scared of what this is doing to you. It has scared you to just think of never finding any answers and being stuck with these compulsions you can't handle for the rest of your life. You don't want to live like this, never knowning just what you need, what you're looking for and you think you'd rather die several times before being stuck with that fate.

You're fifteen now. In the past few years, more things have been added to the list of your obsessions. Recently, time has become a huge one. You can't go anywhere without knowing the time or wearing the very expensive, very nice watch you got for your birthday. It was the only thing you wanted. Not to say there weren't other things you really wanted to ask for, but those were part of your obsessions and you would not allow your own true interests to be overrode by something like that.

(but they are theyre taking over your life you cant do anything for you anymore your always searching and scanning the crowd but for what )

Sometimes you catch yourself staring at people. In that instant you feel so light, like whatever is wrong with you is healing just by seeing them and then you get a better look and suddenly your mood sinks so low you feel like you're drowning in all these depressing emotions. Other times, you find yourself thinking of little jokes. They're like inside jokes between best friends and they pop into your head in somewhat random times. Sort of how just yesterday you saw some review of a shitty wizard game coming out and all you could think was "gonna write slash about this lalonde?"

You don't know anyone with the name Lalonde.

Those feelings that started knawing at you back then? It's a pit inside of you. The void opened up and dragged away more of yourself into it. It's like your dream - information wells up in there, but you have no access to it. You only know what you remember from the dream, but all of it is so ridiculous it's crazy. You've seen a man in almost all white with a hat and these weird anime shades before.

Now that you think about it, it strikes as odd you that you've never felt compelled to look for him. Although you can't wonder about the man for too long before you find yourself crying. Just tears dripping from your eyes and it feels like someone has stabbed you in the chest because he just means so much to you. You have no idea why, and it feels like a part of you in that void has died.

You've decided thinking of him obviously isn't the best idea.

Instead, you go back to making shitty webcomics after removing all traces of tears. You log onto pesterchum to search and wait for the right people to show up.

(Secret: You already know you'll never find them, or any of the things you suppose you're trying to find. This doesn't stop you, though. Hope hasn't died yet.)


	2. Everything Was Exactly How It Seemed

**Chapter Two: **_And Then Last Night I Had A Strange Dream, Where Everything Was Exactly As It Seemed_

The streets have never been this empty, you think. There must be something going on today because this neighborhood isn't too far from downtown. Your name is Dave Strider, you're nineteen and attending the nearby community college. It may be somewhat of a walk, but it's cool. You can handle that. Right now you were on your way to pay rent for your apartment. Thomas, your landlord, would finally stop yelling at you for waiting to pay until the last moment. Then, you notice how empty it is out here. Usually there are at least several cars driving by and kids hanging out on apartment stoops as you walk by. Today, no one is out, no one is driving by you, and it's starting to freak you out. As normal, you don't let it show. They're all busy or inside or something. Yeah, that's it. Don't be stupid, Strider.

You didn't realize that you'd stopped walking until now. You shake your head and almost start walking again but oh my god what the fuck is that. Jumping back, you press as close to the side of the brick building as you can. Shielding your eyes from the impact of whatever the fuck that was, you slowly lower your arms. Smoke is drifting up from the giant crater in the ground. There's a meteor and a small baby sitting on it like nothing's weird about any of this. Holy shit. There is a baby on that fucking thing. Without thinking you make your way down there as fast as you can. Scooping the baby up, both of you are instantly back on even ground. You hold the baby close and stare at the meteor for a good two minutes. You decide it'd be best to get the fuck out of there and abscond back to your apartment. Thomas would just have to yell at you again.

Back home, your chest is heaving up and down just from being plain frightened the fuck out of your mind. You aren't entirely sure what the hell just happened back there. The baby in your arms is clinging to your front, nestled close and it seems he may even be asleep. What the actual fuck. Moving across the room, you look out your window and everything appears normal. Kids are sitting on stoops with their friends and cars are going down the road as usual. You decide maybe none of this will ever make sense and just move to sit down on the couch. Trying to move slowly so as not to disturb the baby - your head is already pounding and a screaming baby would just frustrate you even more so. He doesn't cry though. Instead his tiny eyes blink open and then you realize this baby has on tiny little anime shades.

(a man flashes through your mind and suddenly the void spews up information into your mind so quickly you just thought you had a headache earlier and oh god hes raising you, teaching you how to spin turntables, youre against him in strife on the roof and then-

and then hes lying on the ground dead dead dead oh my god bro no bro please dont you cant

bro please i still need you but he wont get up no matter how much you shake him or yell and his blood is pooling around his body and its on your hands and arms and knees and your chest too when you wrap your arms around him as best as you can sobbing and feeling his body losing its warmth and you feel like you cant take it anymore and - )

Oh. My. God. You are Dave Strider, in your living room sitting on a couch with a baby in your lap and tears are everywhere. Your one free hand rubs at your eyes repeatedly but it doesn't stop the flowing tears. The little baby in your lap (oh god bro its you isnt it oh my god you're alive and here and a baby but youre here and alive and no dont cry please dont cry too) decides not to listen to your internal pleas and his face scrunches up. Tears leak from his tiny eyes like water running from a faucet and he's waving his tiny fists around to show you just how upset he is. Your headache is pounding heavily against your skull, tears are still dripping from your own eyes, and you smile. You remember him; you remember your bro and while it's not everyone, it's a start.

You quiet the baby down and hold him as gently as you can in your arms. You aren't sure what you're going to do with a baby in college, but it's okay. Bro did it, and if he can do that and raise you while simultaneously being the most amazing brother on this -or any - planet, then you can do the same for him. You're going to be okay. You can do this, you can. You're going to continue school, but you'll have to spread out your classes and it'll take longer. That's perfectly fine to you, though.

You've waited for years for any kind of answer, and Bro is probably the best thing in your life right now. Part of the gaping hole inside of you fills up, but the hole is still incredibly large. In a way, that doesn't even matter anymore. It doesn't matter because you've got your brother and it was always just you and him. Your mind suggets others of great importance, but you know Bro was always number one to you. And now you have him back. It can be you two again, just you two Striders against the world and everything will be okay and alright from here on out.

You can be his hero just like he was yours.


	3. You Were So Misunderstood Back Then

**Chapter Three: **_You Were So Misunderstood Back Then_

It's been about two years since that meteor crashed down. You heard about it in the news, but no one could ever figure it out. The story was abandoned and the area fixed once they figured it was a freak meteor crash. You prefer it that way. Your now-little Bro is clinging onto your leg and smacking you with his plush seagull. He's basically screeching at you right now, trying to hinder your movements in any way he can. Damn this kid hates baths.

He wouldn't have had to take his bath yet if he hadn't kept on hitting the container of apple juice. Who knew shitty fake swords could do so much damage and leave tiny little brothers dripping with apple juice. Although it took a while before the little man would calm down enough, you finally get him in there and squeaky clean just in time for bed. He's already trying to hide his drowsiness; his little head will slowly lean down and then pop! right back up. You make sure to be looking in another direction right before he catches himself starting to doze. You know he'd hate it if he thought he couldn't be handle himself up to Strider standards. In all honesty, you don't care much about those 'standards' anymore.

Irony is still the fucking shit, but you've long since given up any attempt at rapping. You tell everyone you could be the best if you wanted, but quite frankly you were so damn awful that it was pitiful.

After helping Bro slip into his onesie, you swing him up and hold him above your head for a moment before setting him on your shoulders. He loves when you do that, and you know so because he giggles and his tiny baby hands curl up in your hair.

_Suddenly you're five again and Bro swings you up high into the air and you end up standing on his shoulders, his hands holding yours to make sure you're steady. Oh man, this is the best. You're so tall right now, standing on his shoulders and looking out at the sunset from the rooftop. _

Dammit! One of your hands reaches up and rubs at your right temple, trying to soothe away the pain. Whenever you have memories, they always hurt. Headaches, mostly, and a few have led to head-splitting migraines. That's the price you're stuck to pay and you'll gladly deal with all of the pains. Medication doesn't help these, so there's no point in trying to find where you left those pain pills from a stress-related headache two days ago.

"Dabe? Dabe, you got ouchie?" Bro has removed one of his hands from your hair is now patting your head. Well, it's a little more like petting, but you won't call it that.

"Yeah, little man, but don't worry. I'm okay." Your right arm goes up and his hand grabs onto your much larger one as best as it can. His head lays down on top of yours and his hand squeezes yours before letting go. "Dabe , I wanna sweep with you," his little voice murmurs into your hair. You tell him that'd be just fine.

He does this sometimes. You've tried asking him why he wants to stay with you and he just shakes him head and clings onto your leg. One time you even told him he could stay up a little later and play with his toys while you studied, but when you tried handing him the thin plastic sword, he started crying. It's not like you cared if he wanted to sleep in your bed, lots of kids sleep with their parents for comfort. It's just you really don't get why the kid started crying that night. You head flashes with pain as the image of a much older Bro appears in your mind, a thin sword sticking out of his chest. You wonder if the kid can remember his old self, or alternate self, or whatever those memories are. He's little and it could've been he was afraid of monsters under his bed and didn't want to say. You don't really know, but you don't ask him, either. Seeing him cry like that, so afraid and all he wanted was you to protect him. The kid was up in your arms in seconds, hands clutching your shirt and tears leaving little dark spots on your shoulder. Ever since then you haven't questioned him and just let him stay with you.

The next morning, he's a sleepy little bundle of orange shuffling into the kitchen.

"Dabe, I want pantakes! Pantakes, Daaaaaaabe." He yawns and rubs at his eyes. Luckily, his 'pantakes' are almost ready. A minute later the last pancake is on top of the small stack. Bro's hands are raised up in the air, but his eyes are shut and his mouth is hanging open just enough to let a little drool roll out. Grabbing a napkin, you wipe it from his chin and set him in his own seat.

He shakes his head and starts eating his breakfast. Leaning against the counter, you sip at your steaming coffee. The kid knows the routine. You'll eat breakfast and watch one cartoon together. After that, he can play with his toys or keep watching cartoons while you do your online schooling. He knows not to bother you unless it's important. This time you're trying to keep your attention on your film history class notes when the little guy decides he's had enough of playing alone for today.

"Bro, calm down. Just a few more minutes, okay?" He pouts and crosses his arms, yet nods his head anyways. "Thanks little guy. I'll try to hurry up." Instead of answering, he gets your help in climbing up into his lap.

It doesn't take too much longer before your notes are completed. Considering you don't have much else to do today, and that your other class isn't until quite a while later, you decide going out would be pretty nice. Bro ends up in a white t-shirt and small baby pants with his light up tennis shoes. The glasses hardly come off, so they're a given. It's pretty hot today and you don't want to be left carrying a tired baby, so out comes the stroller. Bro's lower lip pokes out to show just how he feels about it, but it doesn't matter. He still gets in the thing and you two ride the elevator down to the bottom floor. Passing by the check-in worker, you give each other silent waves from across the lobby. The doors open automatically once you've gotten close enough and you're thankful for the shades as the bright sun beats down on your face.

"Hey, Davie!" someone nearby calls out. Your blood freezes at that voice. You _know_ that voice. Oh my god, Dave, don't freak out. Your walk has taken you by an old appliance store and, wanting momentary relief fromt the Texas sun, you two venture in. It's not like you aren't actually interested in the stuff; in fact, you're seriously considering throwing away the awful T.V in the living room for this one in front of you. There are several around it, and they're all playing some dumb old courtroom show. You need to know who said that. The ghost of a pain graces your head. Your pulse starts racing and you feel the sweat start the bead at your forehead. That is, until you hear the next part.

"Judge Johnny Stone! Don'tcha think this is justa tad bit ..." is all you need to hear to stop listening. Your pulse slows down back to normal and the sweat makes you feel cold in here.  
>"Dabe? Dabe, what's dat?" Bro asks, pointing to the show on the television in front of you.<p>

"That's just some old court show, Bro. Don't worry about it." Yeah. Just some old court show with a silly old actor on it. Didn't he die not too long ago? Oh well. You don't really remember considering you've found Bro, your life has been especially busy. You're about to walk off when you see 'Judge Johnny Stone' on the screen. There's something so familiar about his face; it's somewhat off, maybe older than you'd expect, but you know that face. It sends chills down your spine and fills your stomach with unease and nausea.

You're just standing there, watching him and taking in nothing else. His voice, face, and those awful buckteeth and glasses combination are so familiar, and yet you've never seen anyone like that before in your life. It's so frustrating because nothing is coming up from the depths of your memory to enlighten you to him. It's so upsetting that, at first, you don't even notice Bro's arm hanging out of the stroller and tugging on your pantsleg.  
>"Dabe, I wanna go! Dabe Dabe Dabe! Dabe less go!" he whines at you. Shaking your head to clear it of Johnny Stone, you walk calmly out of the store. This is your day out with your baby brother. You'll take him to the playground for a while and then probably go home. Besides, you know who to look at now; you'll have plenty of time to remember.<p>

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Hey guys! I know it's technically Tuesday, but I ended up being really busy these past three days and wasn't able to upload, or even finish, this chapter until now! I know I have something to do tomorrow afternoon and evening, Thursday and possibly Friday,too. Hopefully the next chapter will be Saturday, but that's only if I have time to write. If not, it'll probably be after Christmas. Also, if you're wondering why the sudden change in how this story is going, it'll be the same idea. The year skips will stay the same, but now that the general idea is out, there will be a lot more description along with them instead of a paragraph. Chapter four should be longer and I'll probably make it have two of the year-skips instead of one.

AND i've somehow forgotten disclamers. Big oops there,

Homestuck (c) Andrew Hussie. The name of this fic comes from a song called Give It All Back by Noah and the Whale.

Chapter one and chapter two's titles are from the same song, Sleeping In by The Postal Service.

This chapter's title is from Starring by Freelance Whales. I really do love all of these songs and would recommend all of them, especially Freelance Whales in general.

PLUS! Special thanks to:

TheBleachDoctor, nikkidoesntknow, DangerousMuteLunatic, and Andani for reviewing! Also, DML, I'm trying! Hopefully the intermission can last for a while longer to stretch out what time I do have! Andani, I did go back and check over that chapter, so a few things are changed. Thanks for the suggestion!

I hope you guys are having a nice break if you're already on one! Even though I'm busy, I know I'm loving it already! Anyways, night guys!


	4. I Hope That Someday I'll See

**Chapter Four: **_I Hope That Someday I'll See Without These Frames_

- - - - About Three Years Later - - - -

"Hey, Dave! Can I see that sword now?" Bro points up to one of the swords on the wall. You though the first time he asked, he'd ironically choose one of the hilariously shitty ones, but he's only five. He'll learn.

You take the top one off first and carefully hand it to him. It remains sheathed right now, but he's so excited he's practically bouncing. Taking the other one off, you hold it in your hand. You get on your knees and hold it out in front of you.

"Alright, little dude. You watchin'?" And his response is his small head going up and down with a small trying to break free on his face. Shit, he's just a little kid. This once will be fine. You give him a big grin and he sees it's ok to smile. His face practically shines with how big his smile is. He holds his own sword out in front of him, just like you did.

"Now, watch what I do, but don't do it until I say so, okay?" "Yeah, yeah! Okay, Dave!"

You watch him as you slowly remove it fromt he sheath and he follows your movements.

Moving your wrist around you adjust your grip until it's just right. It already was, but you've got to demonstrate to the kid. "Wait, Dave, what'dja do there?" He tries mimicking you, but you stop him. You set your sword down and show him just what to do. It takes a while for him to get it just right, but that's fine. You show him just how to hold it properly and the easiest way to move it around. He swings it down slowly, trying to get it just right like you did. It doesn't take long before plenty of time has passed and it's now lunchtime.

"Alright, Bro. We're gonna stop for today. Tomorrow morning we'll practice again. That okay with you, little man?" He beams up at you again. "Yeah, Dave! This is awesome!"

He'd been waiting all morning to start his training. He thinks that since that's all he wants, it's all he's getting for his birthday. He's still too young to get you won't just leave it at that. He deserves the best and you'll personally make sure he gets it. Like right now, you're about to take him out to get lunch, but he doesn't know you're taking him out to the funzone thing. He'll be so surprised when he sees the building, let alone all his preschool friends waiting with their parents and two of your friends. He'll be overwhelmed to be there, and even more shocked when he walks in and everyone surprises him. Plus, you got his very own set of turntables. They'll be on the big side right now, but it's just to teach him with, really. He'll start mixing stuff for real once he's older.

You try making everything a little bit special for him, especially birthdays and holidays. It's worth it to see him happy and enjoying his life. You know the day's going to come when you lose him to whatever took you and your memory. Until then, you decide you're going to make this great for him. You'll keep him safe and happy, but train him so he'll be more prepared than you ever were. Right now, you're okay with just living in the moment. You don't want to think about the big picture, and especially not the fact he's growing up pretty quickly. You don't want to lose him again, but you know it's not your decision. So, instead, you just enjoy your life right now and give him everything he needs.

- - - -Six Years After That - - - -

"Hello, Mr. Strider. How may I assist you today?" a young secretarty asks, a soft smile gracing her face.

"I'm just here to see Dave. Gotta get him to sign some papers for school."

Her smile widens a little at you before she looks down at one of the schedules on her desk. She flips some of the pages open while scanning through the booklet in front of her. You already know he's in a meeting for a while longer; Dave makes sure you know where he is at all times. It's some sort of protective thing he does in case you need him. It doesn't bother you that much because you know that for whatever reason he is almost scarily protective of you sometimes.

"Ah, he's in a meeting for another ten minutes. I can let you wait in his office, unless you'd want to wait out here?" She's young, probably early in college, and obviously hasn't gotten the memo that Dave doesn't like any of his employees messing with you. There's a lady who's been working here for about five years now watching you two, so you figure you'll leave it up to her to tell this chick.

"I'll just wait in his office. Thanks anyways."

It may have shocked her a little to see you just walk off. What, didn't she realize you have your own access pass to everywhere in this building? She calls out a "Have a nice day, Mr. Strider!" a little too loudly, but you just wave your right hand up in the air as a response.

Dave's office is at the end of a long hallway. Most people would think the rooms down this hall are offices, but all that's here is a large breakroom and some storage areas. You let the pass drop out of your sylladex and into your hand. It takes a second to register before the light flashes green and the door unlocks.

Now, just where to sit that would be the most ironic. You could always open the window and sit on the edge with your feet hanging out. Nah, Dave would probably have a heart attack and flip his shit at you. The two waiting chairs are out of the question and you really don't feel like sitting in a potted plant or on the pumpkin in the corner. All that leaves is Dave's chair. Fuck, yes. You've always wanted to sit in this thing. The only time you can say you have other than now is when Dave first got this office while you were younger. He still had to bring you to work sometimes and you usually just sat in his lap, watching whatever he did. You were small enough for it to still be acceptable and you loved it. Dave would sometimes point stuff out on his computer screen and explain it to you. He's just the best like that.

Of course, it's been a pretty long while since then. You're not little you and Dave isn't the same Dave, either. He busied himself with discovering every damn thing about John Crocker he could and work once he figured you were old enough to handle your own. You don't want to admit it, but a part of you still resents him for that. The trips you went on with him (what, Dave wasn't about to leave you alone like that) were pretty amazing, you wish things could have stayed the way they were. Him focusing on you mostly and work second. Any other bullshit had to be worked in because Dave wasn't about to ignore you.

You close your eyes and rest your head against the back of the chair. It's nice and peaceful in here, and today wasn't the greatest of days. Maybe that's why you're thinking of all this shit that just makes you upset.

A hand pets your whitish blond hair. "Hey, little Bro. When'd you become the big man?"

Oh. Shit. Your face remains calm but your pulse is racing; you didn't even hear the door click open. No wonder Dave won't let you stay alone and is constantly watching over you. If you can't even tell when he's coming, how could you ever hold your own?

"'Sup, Dave." He smirks a little at you and ruffles your hair. Instead of making you move, he just plants his ass on the desk.

"So I have some school papers to sign? What for this time?"

This may be why you're off your game today. You weren't really nervous until now, because you thought you'd present this a hell of a lot better.

"Just one of those report cards from Mrs. Durbin and a trip."

His joking attitude changes right away. His eyes scan your face and you know he knows. He knows you're nervous and is assesing everything going on here. Shit.

"I know, I know, but Dave this trip is gonna be the shit. Everyone is going; I'll be fine."

"Really now? Because I think not even five minutes ago you weren't alert enough to know I even entered to room. How the hell am I supposed to trust some teacher if you get hurt or if anything goes down? Where the hell are y'all even going?"

Aw shit. "It's just outta town, Dave. We're going to that museum and will have spend the rest of the day at the mall nearby. We'll be back by the time school ends, too."

His eyes seem to stare at the ground, and you wish you knew what he was thinking. No one can get into Dave's head; he's long since mastered how to keep a straight face at all times. If anyone else had been in the room earlier, they probably wouldn't have even been able to notice his change in attitude. Dave's just that great.

"I could take you some other time. Hell, I'll even let you bring one of those best friends of yours."

You sigh because it's hopeless. "Dave, Jake lives on a fucking island, Jane is an heiress to a company and lives in freaking Washington, and-"

"And the drunk girl doesn't even live in the US. I didn't forget. I'm saying I might just swing by a few extra stops on our next trips and there are some parts you just may want waiting at the house."

Dammit. He always pulls shit like this. I'll take you and hell, bring someone along or he'll get you more robot parts or uranium or _whatever _you could need and want. He does it because it works, too. Weren' you just complaining that he doesn't focus on you enough anymore? Wasting time on business trips just for you sure as hell doesn't sound like that.

"Dude, what the fuck?" What does that mean, they're wainting at the house? Unless...

"Don't be stupid. I already sent for those parts you've been wanting since I found out about the trip. The school sent the emails about it out to me last week, Bro. They're already here."

You don't look at him. Dave really is the best. Sometimes you doubt him, sure, but it's not like he can't work. And besides, you're old enough to not cry every time he has to work and can't spoil you like some little stuck up rich kid. Dave has his reasons for everything and now you're feeling guilty for thinking badly of him. Lalonde's called you out on this a few times, but you always deny it. Shit, you're terrible; you don't deserve him as a brother.

The hand is back again, ruffling and messing up your hair. Your eyes are immediately up and on him again. "Don't worry about it, Bro. You're the better brother." That surprises you. A lot. Not only is that the biggest fucking lie ever, but he's completely sincere and there's almost a nostalgic hint in the undertone of his voice when he says it.

It's happened before. Something will happend and Dave will just freak out until he knows you're perfectly alright. Once, it was at about two in the morning and Dave just burst into your room. His eyes were wild and he was frantic. He was just panicing and freaking out for no reason and, quite frankly, it scared you. He just checked you and kept asking if you were okay. The weirdest part was when he pressed him palm against your chest a couple of times. He apparently didn't find what he was looking for and it made him cry. Dave Strider, the best brother and coolest fucking dude ever cried right in front of you. It was more like he was just sobbing and weeping and you had no idea what to do.

You don't know what to do here, either. Dave could freak out and panic again right now. It doesn't seem like he will, but it makes you nervous. You've wanted to ask about then and all the things he says like that, what he said just now being a prime example, but you don't. For whatever reason there could possibly be, you know he wouldn't lie to you. You're terrified of what his answer may be and keep your mouth shut about it.

"So, uh, are we leaving now or something?" Dave just kind of stares at you for a minute. He just closes his eyes and breathes and you're left at a loss of what to do.

"Get your report card out first. I still have to sign it. We can go after that."

You just listen to Dave and do as he says. You're not even a teenage yet, hell you've still got a little while before you're twelve. Yet even you know that sometimes you've just got to shut up and take what you're given.

* * *

><p>Hey guys! I didn't have much to do today and I was in a writing mood so here you go! The song title is from Daylight by Matt &amp; Kim.<p>

I'm guessing unless I stay in this writing mood, chapter five should be out after Christmas, although I will be pretty excited over my gifts, especially the tablet i'm getting. Hopefully I won't go too crazy over everything, and i'll try my best to stay on a good update time!

Also, I knew I wanted to go on with the years thing, but when I started writing i just kind of spewed out the second part, so I added in the first part to make up for it. The next chapter he'll be only a year older, so i'll have to slow my roll with these age skips i guess! anyways, if you notice anything, don't be afraid to tell me! I only sort-of scanned through this so i'm just hoping i didn't miss any major problems and can check over it later!

PLUS

thanks so much to aicornduong for your review! that was really sweet and so nice of you! i appreciated that a lot and it just made my day!

thanks for reading everybody and please review! i hope you guys are all having a great time on break and i guess i'll see you after christmas! bye!


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